R.I.P Ti Rose

I just had to do the most difficult thing in my life, tell my cousin that her sister passed away over the phone. When I heard the news that a boat capsized 14 miles away from Nassau, Bahamas this morning, never in a million years did I stop to think that anyone in my family could be on that boat. I didn't even know she was trying to come to the US, she recently immigrated to the Bahamas, she was enjoying life there was the last thing I'd heard.

First my sister IM's me saying call Haiti of course I'm assuming something was wrong with my mother, everyone else was doing okay last I'd heard so she (my mother) was the only person I had to worry about. So, when my sister said we needed to call my cousin who lives in North Carolina next I was totally lost. They barely speak? Then another IM followed stating that her sister had passed away. I thought of course I'm reading this wrong...but how can you read passed away wrong? I called her and she confirmed and I'm thinking, "why? Why do I have to tell her?" Over the phone at that, I can't hold her hand or wipe her tears or explain to her children why their mom is crying.

We got through it my sister stayed on the phone with me in case I couldn't go through with it. Hearing her breakdown like that and the sound of her son's voice in the background asking "what's wrong?" has to be the equivalent of the pain one feels when being shot straight through the heart. I haven't seen Roselene (Ti Rose) since I was 11 years old and I feel like I've been robbed, but who am I to question God's will?

Poverty in Haiti causes so many to flee in hopes of gaining a better life in the states. Riots are still going on now in Haiti as I write this. How does "La Perle des Antilles" (The Pearl of the Caribbean) fall into such circumstances? The first black nation to gain it's freedom to slavery now, we're the slaves to poverty and suffering. Risking our lives in hopes to live. My mother was Ti Rose 24 years ago, taking that risk to live and to give her children a better life, the first time she was stranded at sea with dead people on board, then later on wandering around Cuba loosing her mind. When she made it back to Haiti everyone thought she was a ghost because they thought she had passed on like many others on the boat, rather then staying in safety she tried again and she made it. Everyday I'm grateful that she did. She made it, my brother made it 8 years ago, yet the Lord called Ti Rose home.

R.I.P Ti Rose, you'll forever live in our hearts, all the sins of this world erased from your heart as you stand amongst angels.

3rd Retightening

I had to accompany my brother in law to Miami this morning to drop my sissy poo to the airport at 2 am. I kept thinking I was going to die he was swerving and he told me he couldn't see well and I darn sure can't see at night. Dude didn't even know how to get to the airport. I had to let my dare devil senses come forward to navigate my beloved home city. My sister kept saying she wanted to look nice so remind her to pack on the make up right before we turned into the airport, that became annoying after a while. She wore heels to Haiti lol and a suit I'm like woman you look like you're going to a revival what are you going to do when you get off the plane and the dirt smacks you in the face as a welcome? It was not the business, he drives slow, they're weird and I had to work this morning. Her flight was leaving at 7:00 AM so we had her at the airport by5:30 AM her arrival time was set for 7:55 AM she calls me at 8:15AM and tells me they haven't departed yet because some guy decided last minute he didn't want to fly they had to find all his luggage before the plane could depart. HOW RUDE !! lol.

I probably won't write much I'm still getting used to this Mac but I LOVE IT!! It saved me from awkward silence when they weren't being wierd. I was able to watch Hitman the entire trip and then jammed to some music. Hitman is awesome by the way I love action/ assassin movies. I wanted to be an assassin before I learned "Thou Shalt Not Kill" -giggles-

While I'm on the topic of movies I've seen, 10, 000 BC is a good movie as well. I tell people it's a cross between 300 and Moses telling pharaoh "let my people go!"They have locks in the movie and the lead was tres cute he looks like my friend lol! He's looking a little rough but still prettiful, he won't let me play in his locks because they need a re tightening BAD lol.

Good movie though I'm not good at giving reviews I end up just telling the entire movie but trust me watch it. Meet the Browns was okay, I like the play better hopefully Madea Goes to Jail will be better for me.

Eh on to other things like ma cheveaux (hair):

Had my monthly wash and my third re tightening. I find that I'm deathly afraid when she comes around to the front edges I feel like she's going to just pull one off, I'm not ready to loose one yet lol. I'm going to try washing my hair everyone re tightening, she says I had more slippage and I'm not sure why since I've been using my shower cap and hardly ever spritz my hair with water. I don't know if it's a good I idea yet because I have white hair root thingys stuck in the front edge locks it looks weird and I want them gone! ASAP. If anyone has suggestions please do share. We have to schedule a longer session next month she says she has to pull down my locks or else I'll end up having to cut a lot of them, I'm not down for cutting no sir. I wanted to take a picture of her locks to share but she wants them to be dolled up first before they make a blog debut lol.

Before:

Yeah, sorry they're cut off I was taking the pictures and I'm not ambidextrous is that even what that word means? No, that's using the left and right side of your brain at the same time, basically I can't photograph myself well lol. After:

Do you see the white yukky stuff?

I don't get it because she washed my hair...shouldn't they have gone good bye bye? :(

Think that's it, going to try and get some school work done. After this week I'm done until May 7th when summer school starts YAY!

-Au Revoir

I'm Back

I wasn't gone that long and thank God for it. My mother is much better and is planning to return to the states the moment riots die down in Port Au Prince, Haiti and it's safe to travel. She doesn't feel safe enough to travel on her own especially since her health isn't all that great. (Price of food has gone up and the people aren't making that much more money so of course they're pissed.) My sister is surprising her this weekend I don't have a passport and I don't really know my way around Haiti like that so my oldest sister who's in the picture with me with all her bebe kids is flying out Sunday morning to go and get my mommy!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!

I was a mess these past few weeks my mother is my heart and I don't even want to think what I would do if something were to happen to her. My phone bill is going to be sky high all that international dialing. Thank you for all the prayers, it's a powerful thing and I believe ultimately it's what helped me to escape this nightmare. I can't wait for my mommy to get home I know she's going to be annoyed by be being all up on her but she has no idea how much I miss and love her. My mother is like a man she doesn't show emotion so she'll probably push me after the first 2 hugs when she gets back. LOL!!

My grades were suffering I was depressed as I don't know what I actually got a C in my Humanities class lol students were emailing me all semester asking that I help them and then all of a sudden I get a C and I almost pass out. I brought the grades back up minus Journalism but I'm not even going to get into that. I think she is just going to have to curve the grades in all of her classes.

Weird things have happened during this time, I live in the hood and I had to hang my panties outside I did them in a secretive way made my own little contraption but guess what happened? Someone stole my panties among them my hello kitty and snoopy boy shorts. So, I had to finally put good use to my Victoria Secret gift card that I received as gift for my birthday. That store is so dang expensive! I don't think I'll ever be hooked unless it's one of my stressed out shopping sprees. Which I have had many!! I bought a lot of stuff this past month it's all the stress I tell you.



Yes that's something else about me, whenever I get stressedd, sad, or mad I shop. I'm not a great shopper though because I hate the mall and other stores so I just get in get out. I almost purchased a 1000 dollar television while grocery shopping at Walmart thought it would make me feel better. Then I almost purchased a Wii which was going to come up to like $700 after all the games and such. I was a hot mess. This time I did good, I only purchased a pair of Coach sneakers, some Nike's for myself, my sister and my niece, a pair of Jordan's for my nephew some Kenneth Cole dress shoes for my 2 year old nephew and also a Phat Farm outfit for him it was his birthday that weekend, and a digital camera OH WAIT and my new MAC BOOK. I don't shop for brands, I rarely shop seriously unless something is stressing me out then money just seems to not want to stay in my hands. So of course after I purchased it all I just sat down and thought what the hekk?? They're 2,6 and 8 I think I get confused about their ages but point being they don't need to be poisoned by wanting name brands at that age. I went all of my school days with Thrift Store clothing I didn't know what brand name was until I could afford it myself so hopefully my stress doesn't spoil them.

3 Months have gone by since I had my locks installed and I'm loving my hair I have an appointment to have them washed and re tightened in the morning before I go to work, can't wait because these suckers are dirty. I actually forgot that it was my 3 month mark because I don't fuss about my hair anymore that's a miracle. I've had my hair in the same style for 3 months and I'm actually content. I did try some bantu knots, here are the results of that.

Bad quality this was pre-new digi cam:

I had a mammogram and a ultrasound for my boob, had a lump that wasn't too comfortable lack of insurance caused be to stop getting it checked then worrying about my moms health I put myself on the back burner but finally mustered up the courage to go and see the doctor on my own which was another reason as to why I didn't want to be on the computer. They had to compare the results from 6mths ago and now, and she says it hasn't grown but she also asked if I wanted a surgeon referral. My idea about it is if it's not broke don't fix it. So, no cutting anything out of me. The doctor found another lump so from what I got from her she want to cut them out to be safe. AHHHHHH that's scaring the hekk out of me so I'm just praying these suckers disappear, or just stay the same size maybe I just have lumpy boobies.

I have another stray cat, "woof woof" as my nephew calls the stray that has adopted my family brought us a new kitty, she seems to be afraid of everything and even though once she thinks I'm out of sight she'll come and eat she hasn't warmed up to us as nicely as woof woof has. The other day I set out their breakfast and she was finally eating and when I went to check on them I found that woof woof had punked the new kitty and took her food! LOL he's so mean before we actually started setting out two plates she would sniff around his food and he'd actually growl like how do you take her to a restaurant but not want to let her have some of your food woof woof? LOL he is not a gentleman at all. I punished him tonight because kitty looked like she was trying to give him a kissy kiss and he slapped her out of his face, so no meal for him tonight. I'm afraid of them still haven't warmed up to the idea of him rubbing against my leg but they both have a special place in my heart, I refer to them as mine and I actually speak to them. That's a big thing if you consider that I never could understand how people considered their animals their babies but I'm gaining a better understanding.

On another topic: I met a holocaust survivor and I read Night by Elie Wiesel for my Humanities class and it was an eye opener for me, I immediately started doing some research on the Holocaust and I have a couple of books on my reading list, I want to educate myself more on that time and on genocides period. It also has me more interested in reading my Bible.

The semester is almost over now, but a new one starts a week after. I'm trying to go through non-stop to make up for lost time, and I've decided to stay at my current school until I complete my AA and then transfer to a University, and complete my Bachelors in Communications there. Why? Because it's cheaper and I need to save my money!

Well, that's all for now but I'm back with a new camera that I love taking pictures with and a Mac that's stuck to my hip, so count on A LOT of updates! I have to get my beauty rest to go and see my consultant in the morning.

-DiVA 0UT