The Journey Continues

I successfully completed the summer semester 2 A's and 2 B's funny thing is that the A's where in a subject that I'm normally not great in, science. It was surprising looking at my final posted grades and seeing that I actually did okay. I thought I had given up but subconsciously I couldn't allow myself to fail. To God be the glory on that because this DiVA clocked out midway through the second term. I'm currently on vacation from work and school which I certainly need after letting emotion interfere in the work place. I'm realizing that my anger issues have not disappeared like I tried to make myself and others believe. I mean after three anger management classes I'd like to think I was a bit happier? I guess I'm not fooling myself anymore because just last week a bone fell out of my closet. So, I decided rather than stuffing it back in and leaving it to fall back out I'm going to do something about it. The calmest time in my life was during the 4 years of high school. I believe it was because I was busy with EVERYTHING and I didn't have time to get angry if I did get angry I could go to band practice and kill the formations march the hekk out of the field, spin the flag hard like I was whacking someones head off kick as if I wanted to knock that person or situation into next week or even murder the strings of my violin. I had goals I had to accomplish I had to get out of the hood and show others that this was not all WE could be. I also realized that the anger reemerged once I began slipping backwards well more like getting too comfortable with in the place I'd arrived with the few goals I had accomplished lol! The devil doesn't ever want to see you happy. Counseling helped so I'm considering doing that again but some other things that I've decided to look into are picking up some of my old activities. Yoga and playing my violin primarily. I begin lessons next Thursday the 28th so I'll actually have to do more than take my violin out of it's case and just looking at it or holding it. Yoga will begin in September hopefully once this gym opens up. I've also been attending church services and that feels good, lastly school which is a must if I want to get that MBA before I'm 26 lol, who knows if that all works I may even start dancing on the side. I'm to young to be so serious I can't be everyones shero and I know they don't all expect it of me so I'm praying they're supportive of my quest to be a less angry and stressed out DiVA.

Sisterlocks, natural hair in general has given me a different perspective on how I want to live my life, this year began with a journey to learn how to love myself...I'm still learning how and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Well back to my vacation of romance novels ;)

DiVA 0ut!

7mths 6th Wash

It's been a while since my last post, and I guess a lot happened since then. I'm doing better, learning how to regulate my diet to combat with the fatigue associated with anemia. Completed the final summer term 4 days ago not sure what my grades are as of yet, I wrote two papers in philosophy that gained me 2 A's one on "Freedom and Responsibility: Blacks need to take responsibility for their freedom" and the second on "Morals, Slave and Master Morality: Slavery in America a necessity for freedom now". Yea it was hard writing the second one but some how I pulled it off. I bombed the midterm not sure what I got on the final so I'm in limbo as to what my grade is there. As for Oceanography I was averaging a B before the final so who knows. I was on the deans list after the Spring term, so I'm hoping that I keep that position, if the summer term even counts. As of right now I'm just excited that I have two full weeks without school. Hmm what else have I done? I went out one night with the same group again of course. It was actually okay though it made me aware of the options out in about in this miserable city. It seems I'm going to be single for a LOOOONG time. It's one thing when I say I'm not ready for a relationship and a totally different thing when there isn't any thing out there to be ready for. What has happen to the guys? Guess I've had my head buried in romance novels far too long. As for my hair, it's kept up with the stressful days and it's been wonderful. Even going out with the girls that night was okay all I did was gather my hair up with one bobby pin and was out and about looking fierce with nothing but a touch of lip gloss. Decided to treat my hair since it allows me to be so nappturally beautiful so I washed my hair last night finally. I'm not really feeling the sisterlocks shampoo it doesn't get a good lather. I badly want to use some sort of moisturizer in my hair, in a week it will be fine but after washing it feels weird. Right now my hair is curly because of the way I let them dry out. Yeah this post is just a bunch of random lines...I'm still off quilter, so bare with me. Um... I can wear hats! I thought I wouldn't be able to with my hair being short but it actually looks nice. Life in some ways is blah right now, my sister is on oxygen. My mother has good and bad days, last night being a bad one but part of today was good. We all went to church which hasn't happened in a while for me. I need to find a new church think it will help me to know that the burden is not all mine. My mother planned her funeral, she let me see a picture of her casket. Not one that I would've picked. Knowing that almost made me break down in tears to thinking I wouldn't have known what she would want, but today unknowingly to her, she reassured me that she's not going anywhere yet when she palmed my behind (PICTURED). Okay I'm stopping this post now since it's going every which way. Pictures are of my braid and band, braidout bantu, hat, ma famille, and me on my night out! You can click to enlarge. -DiVA OUT