What up What up What up

Hey there!

I'm sorry I left you all with such a sad post at the top for so long but things have been fast paced these past few months. BUT through it all lessons have been learned, like for one...I don't have to always answer my phone or respond to text. Such a simple lesson but it took a long time to come to terms with. I have two phones, an iPhone & a blackberry, and often my laptop is with me. Although I'm proud to say this week my baby has remained at home! People basically have 24/7 access to me, and I feel obligated to respond at times, that is definitely changing!

How am I doing with the lost of my Gui?

I deal with things by NOT dealing with them, I close myself off to the situation and push myself into something that displaces emotions. It's kind of like drinking away ones sorrows. It's not easy especially as I sat here thinking that today is the John Legend concert that we were texting about the night before he passed, I miss him and feel like I took him for granted while he was here. I don't want to do that with anyone else I love. Yet at the same time my emotions seem to have been sealed off. I still haven't cried over Michael Jackson even after watching such a touching memorial service yesterday. I pushed it to the side, even made jokes just to keep emotions at bay. Example: Yesterday driving home w/ my best friend Ludie listening to "The Way You Make Me Feel" and out the blue I say I'm mad Gui gets to meet Michael Jackson before me!

Oh Lord I miss him...

I'm a work a holic. I'm going to learn how to rest and put me first...soon. I've been told that I need to slow down, although right now I feel like life is too short. I'm trying to make a name for myself, make my mommy, family and friends proud so it's full speed ahead to my objectives.

I'm still in school expecting to graduate May 2010, though for my minor I'll still have 2 classes to take that summer.

I'm interning @ Clear Channel Radio w/ Radio Personality Dj Quest of 105.5 The Beat & @ E. Mason & Associates.

I feel blessed to have an opportunity to work close with these individuals, Quest I've known since high school and has helped with all of my annoying inquiries about the entertainment industry, allowing me to hang out at the radio station after school and giving me insider leads. He ultimately landed me the internship with E. Mason & Associates which handles media relations for artist like Rick Ross and Flo Rida.

In the past few mths, I've been on stage with Maybach Music Artist, writing reviews for events that I never would have dreamed attending, traveling to different states to promote upcoming artist, backstage all access pass to shows of artist that I DVR'd, shopping sprees, to spruce up my wardrobe.

Thinking back on these past few months even with the sad moments, it's all been a beautiful and blessed learning experience. While going full speed ahead, I'm coming into my own as a young adult, it's almost as if I'm meeting myself for the first time and I'm so intrigued. Seeing my future by faith and it's strengthing my soul. I'm going to be all right.

Well I've gone on enough, so I'm going to end this post here, soon I'll update you about my hair 1.5 years as of 2 days ago (so proud that I didn't notice that until I just typed it LOL!), new niece, my clothes, my adventures, love? possibly lol. More on the road to my career and any other interesting tidbits or ramblings I can think of.

I really need to blog more!!

e-kisses

♥ CheChe

Guichard Claudel "Gui Gui" Jean-Louis

I have a new guardian in heaven. I will admit that Thursday I was mad, Lord knows I was mad because I couldn't believe it. I mean we were just texting on Wednesday night, remember I was asking you about the Sermon on the Mount? I couldn't grasp what Jesus meant by "blessed are those who are poor in spirit" and you helped me to try and figure it out. Then when I couldn't figure it out you advised me to research it further. But you know me, I didn't my excuse was that I was at work but truth be told I had given up and gotten distracted. Edward and I read it together that night and I think I got a better understanding of it. Then you texted me about the India and John Legend concert. You never answered my last text, "are u going?" Guess I got my answer now huh? I was meaning all day Thursday to text you for my answer and to tell you about the conversation I had with Edward. Reminded me so much of when we first met. We would pray before getting off the phone together sometimes we would pray and just sleep on the phone together and wake up the next day and pray together. My sister thought we were crazy! But we saw nothing wrong with it.

I sp0ke about you that day before I knew what had happened going down memory lane remembering the things you did that made you such an exceptional person. I think we were going to the mall but I had to wash the dishes and iron my clothes before I could get ready, and you did them for me. I jokingly said "Gui, would you wash the dishes for me and iron my clothes so I can take a shower?" You got right up and did it for me. I was telling my sister that story laughing and smiling about it thinking I need to call my Gui Gui and see if he's going to the concert and to tell you what I felt the verse meant. All that time you were already gone and I didn't even know it. I read Ms. Dailey's e-mail and even though I read your name I didn't put it together I was thinking it must be some new kid Guichard couldn't be my Guichard. Then I called your phone and Rose confirmed it and I didn't know what to do. I just rushed off the phone all I could say was sorry like I had the wrong number. Man do I wish I had the wrong number. I texted Teri, hoping that she would tell me it was all a twisted joke but she called me back and said there would be a memorial service in less than an hour. I don't know what gave me the strength to get to the church. All those people love you Gui, you made us smile so much while you were here that it was hard to cry for long. I felt you there the entire time. I saw Justin and boy does he look just like you. He's such a goofy baby and I love him so much. Teri is being strong and Justin keeps everyone smiling just the way you did. That little boy is going to grow up surrounded by people that love him because they loved you. I know you wouldn't have left him any other way. I can remember when you told me, well when the news dropped that you had a son. Sitting in the cafe eating my strawberries when Monique asked to see his picture. The room got so silent, but I wasn't even mad about it, because I knew we would talk later and when we did the conversation went deep. I learned so much about who you were and the struggles you faced behind that flawless smile and all I wanted to do was be there for you until the end of time. I wanted to help you carry your load. You were destined for greatness and I wanted to make sure nothing got in your way. I asked if I could be a part of your sons life and you gave me the go ahead to contact Teri. I'm sorry I got mad at you and challenged you to be there more for him I didn't do it because I thought ill of you. I did it because I knew the potential you had as his father. Never could you be a teen statistic.

I'm sorry that I pushed you away. But you know I'm a punk when it comes to those things, never thought my time with you would be cut so short. So many things I missed, so many things you hadn't heard from me recently. The last time I hugged you I should've held on tighter. Rather then letting things get in the way last weekend I should have gone to the senior ceremony. I want to hear you call me Che, man even hearing you call me "kid" would be fine right now. Who's going to sing happy birthday to me next year?

You really make me want to do better. Even when I was hard on myself you called me your inspiration. Now I feel I have to work 100 times harder to make you proud, to hear you say well done. Gui help me to be strong, guide me give me a few heavenly pointers. I can't promise I won't cry but please just let me feel your presence.

Tell the heavenly Father great things about us :)

See you soon... forever my Gui Gui

Love,

Your Che